I can see now that it had been almost a decade in which my life was more about going through the motions than living it. At the time, I felt this, but was never able to quite identify what this feeling was about or what it meant. When I found myself a bit bewildered at the end of a particularly arduous contract, fighting an intestinal condition and watching my long-term relationship unravel, I could no longer ignore the fact that things had to change.
It was becoming clearer that what needed to change was me. But, how does one change herself? Are we not just who we are? Unable to answer these questions, I decided to ask others and created a project which turned into The Wisest, a serial podcast in which I searched for the wisest person alive through personal referral.
One of the messages that I kept getting to each of the wise people I interviewed was: “follow your feelings”. At first I did not think this advice was for me, because I thought that I had followed my feelings, but at the same time, I wondered what it was that I really felt and it seemed that I didn’t truly know.
I started paying attention to these elusive “feelings”. I allowed these feelings to show me where I was meant to go. This lead me through a series of hit and misses, but each hit and miss lead me closer to understanding my feelings. What I began to understand was that I needed to slow down and to take better care of myself and that I also wanted more wisdom and kindness in the world and in my own life in particular. It was craniosacral therapy that seemed to encompass all these qualities.
I have to tell you, I did not fully embrace this discovery on first encountering it. I half consciously put it into the miss column, but I registered with the Body Intelligence training because I felt that going through this program would be good for me and that it had something to show me that I needed. But there was still a very big part of me that would despair when I learned that I would be putting my hands on people’s bodies and listening to their stories. Huh?
Why was I called to something so crazy? Was I going crazy? Was this my midlife crisis? But this loud doubt began to fade into the background as I went deeper into my studies. Every time I got a session, every time that I attended a seminar, every time that I practiced BCST on someone, I inched a little closer away from doubt and towards myself. While studying BCST, I became so much more present in my own life. This therapy is about awareness and thus was teaching me what it meant to truly listen.
The real magic began, and that was when I knew without a doubt that this work was meant for me, was when I started to be able to sense what was happening in people’s bodies just by putting my hands on them! And once that clicked in – and believe me, when I say in my previous life I’m one of the last people that would do this, I did not believe such a thing could happen, but my teachers were so confident that it would, that I persisted – I knew that being a craniosacral therapist was for me. I had discovered an incredible way to connect with people, connect with myself (body, mind and spirt) and connect with the wonder of the world around me.
But sometimes being a Craniosacral Therapist can be challenging. My practice showed me many aspects of myself that I needed to work on. I struggled. Sometimes I didn’t feel good. But each time that I went into my own depths and faced being with my own pain, pain that I at one time couldn’t face, I would come out of it feeling better.
The ways that I felt better would differ with each time. Sometimes, I wouldn’t notice that I had gotten a little better, because I didn’t feel any different per se. It wasn’t until I encountered a certain situation that would usually negatively affect me that I would discover that it seemed to no longer have domain over me. The more I practice, the better I feel and that pattern continues to this day.
Now, I look forward to each encounter with another person. Being able to be with people in a supportive and non-judgemental way while showing them their own health brings me a satisfaction I did not know that I could find in life. An added bonus is that in order to bring the best to my clients, I have to seriously take care of myself. Getting enough sleep, eating well, meditating, exercising and doing other things that make me happy as much as I am able to are all part of my job.
Step by step, day by day life gets better with craniosacral therapy!
